This past Saturday was hard. I awoke, filled with vile, dark thoughts. They brought to the surface a whole host of emotions that I hadn’t experienced for a time. Sadness, guilt, confusion, self-loathing, trepidation. All the emotions of a broken man facing a life he didn’t want to live. That’s why this morning is so important. I’m allowing myself to be, to just contemplate upon what the morning has brought…beauty, peace, the dawn of a new day. Very much the antidote to the emotions of Saturday.
With coffee in hand, I sit and watch this morning slowly come to life. I watch the sunrise, excited at its promise but absent any expectation. As that sun rises, I feel its warmth and I allow my mind to still. I stop its incessant chatter and luxuriate in the silence that grows. I allow it to just be just as I allow myself to be. Today is peace.
This morning I can begin to forgive myself.
Image by John Dickson